A Thank you Letter to Heaven

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! I hope that you are able to spend it with those that you love most. I cherish these moments together with family, they are truly special. I typically post book reviews twice a week but today I am writing something a little different. If you know me, then you know my dad passed away when I was 17, right in front of me. It was traumatizing. This will be difficult for me to write, even more difficult to share with you all, but it is something I really want to do. So, today I am writing a letter to my deceased father.

Dear Dad,

It will be ten years this year…ten years since the last time I saw you. Not that the last time was enjoyable, you lay in front of me the glimmer in your eyes gone, you chest unmoving…no sight of life within. The night I lost you was the worst night of my entire life and I remember every detail. I am sorry that I couldn’t peform CPR, It tried but in the end, paramedics said it would not have made a difference. I am sad you are gone but this is not why I am writing to you today.

Today I want to thank you. Thank you for fueling my love of reading! You were my supplier of new books, every Christmas or birthday. Each Christmas you bought me at least two new books but you left them for me to open last. This was because you knew I would love those most. Your eyes lit up with joy as you watched me cradle the newly bound pages in my arms, a big smile on my face. You might not have understood what books meant to me but you knew they made me happy and that was what mattered to you.

There were many times you scolded me for reading when I should have been doing chores or sleeping. I can not count the number of times you walked into my room and pulled the blanket off of my head to find my laying with my Gameboy advanced light on, reading a book. You wanted to be mad and your voice sounded harsh but I saw the glimmer, the one that always filled your blue/green eyes. I am sorry that I caused trouble with my reading habits. I even got into trouble for reading during math class once, though I never told you that.

You told me that when you passed away, unaware it would unexpectedly come so soon, that you wanted me to take the little educational books that your father had given you. You said with confidence “I want you to have them because I know they will be cared for.” You knew me very well when it came to my love of books. I hope that it will make you smile knowing that not only have I kept those, but I plan on using them to help my children learn as well.

I might not have been given money for the book fair each year when it came to the school but you always took me to the library when I wanted to go. Thank you for that. Although, I could see your look of boredeom as I wandered through the rows of books for what seemed to you to be hours. I could thank you for many things, things that I now am so happy you passed on to me but today I want to thank you most for never diminishing the worth of books for me.

Because of you, I continued to read and experience amazing adventures. I’ve learned lessons that I no longer have to from my own mistakes, thanks to flawed characters. When you passed, books were my escape, a way for me to deal with the loss and continue on with my day. It helped me to pick myself back up and continue walking this journey we all call life. Well, now I have not stopped at reading them. I talk about books and their meaning to me, all the time. I created this book blog to share my thoughts and opinions about each story and the impact they had on me. This book blogging community is full of many amazing people and I’ve met some great ones! I went further and I now freelance proofread for authors. I’m also learning to edit! And because that was still not enough to quench my literary thirst, I am writing my own novel, you can be sure that the first dedication will be to you. The man who continued to push me to always do my best, the one who fueled my love of reading by buying me new books each year, the one who always had the glimmer of pride in his eyes when he saw me pick up a book rather than watch TV.

When I began writing my novel I had many doubts. Doubts that people would ever want to read it, or my common one…that I would not be good enough. When I was questioning myself most, I walked into my room and found a single white feather on the floor near my side of the bed. I do not own anything in this house that has white feathers, so my thought was that it was from you. That it was your way of telling me to do it, to push through and write my book. Not to care what anyone will think because if at least one person enjoys it then it will be a success in your eyes, that you will always be proud of me and what I’ve accomplished.

So, again…thank you, daddy. Thank you for being here to support me. Thank you for not discouraging me from reading and becoming the book-loving person that I am today.

If any of you have someone who supports your love of reading in any way, be sure to thank them today. Show them you care and appreciate their support. Though this letter was to my dad, I want to thank each and every person who supports me; my husband, my in-laws, authors I have worked with, fellow bloggers, the list could go on forever. Thank you, everyone, for the love and support. I am making a promise that I vow to keep…this year (2019) I will finish the first draft of my book. It will be done and with the help of all of you!