The Opposite of Hate – Sally Kohn

Disclaimer: I won a copy of this book via a Goodreads Giveaway.

At a moment when we are facing an epidemic of incivility and hate, popular CNN commentator Sally Kohn sets out to discover why we hate and how we can inoculate ourselves.

Divisive political speech, online trolling, and hate crimes are escalating, and in our current political climate so many of us are seething at “the other side.” As a progressive commentator on Fox News and now CNN, Sally Kohn has made a career out of bridging intractable political differences and remaining good-natured in the face of intense provocation. But these days even Kohn has found herself wanting to breathe fire at her enemies.

It was time, she decided, to look into the subject. In The Opposite of Hate, Kohn talks to leading scientists and researchers, investigating the evolutionary and cultural roots of hate and how simple incivility might lead to more dangerous acts. She travels to Rwanda, the Middle East, and across the United States, introducing us to former terrorists, former white supremacists, and even some of her own reformed Twitter trolls, drawing surprising lessons from some of the most dramatic examples of leaving hate behind. As Kohn boldly confronts her own shameful moments, whether it’s the girl she bullied in school or her own contribution to her daughter’s negative attitudes, she points the way toward change.

Her hopeful message: While we all have the potential to hate, we also all have the capacity to combat it. It turns out that the opposite of hate is not love. It’s the understanding of how hate operates, how it’s fostered, and how easily we fall into its grip. The Opposite of Hate offers the tools to move forward together.

I would like to begin by saying I am not a liberal, nor shall I disclose my personal political beliefs. My blog is to remain non-biased and not politically based, but purely bookish. Now…on to my review.

This is a prime example of how simplicity works for a cover. Hate is symbolized as the bomb. The flower shows what can bloom from hate if we learn from it.That is basic but describes what the entire book is about.

Some may decide not to read this book simply because of the author. Let me reassure you, this book is not bashing either political side in any fashion. If you think this nonfiction novel has nothing new to teach you…you are mistaken. Everyone should read this great book. Kohn knows that it is natural for many of us to jump to hate. It does not matter if it is because of the way we were raised or something we think we do not harbor…we all have biases or hate.

Kohl tells her story of how she now feels terrible about the way she treated a fellow student. I was never the one to bully others, but I have been bullied. All through high school, I was a victim of hate. I always knew how much pain could come from such hatred, I vowed to always be kind and helpful. This does not mean that I am without my own faults.

The author discovers her own unknown biases by taking an IAT test. I have taken this for one of my sociology classes during my pursuit of one of my Bachelor’s Degrees. Though the reliability of this test is questionable, it is a nice way to uncover some biases you may not know you harbor. Kohl talks to people on both sides of the fence. She contacts trolls who have been so openly mean and hateful toward her. This was probably my favorite chapter of the entire book.

Each chapter discusses different aspects of hate, bringing to light why we hate, how we hate, unconscious hate, along with ways for us to move forward from hate. Moving forward does not mean we have to love or even like those we do not agree with. It simply means we have to let go the anger and treat others with respect. This is something we all need to learn.

This is a wonderful book overall. I could go on forever about the terms in the book that I was glad to finally see presented in places other than sociology class or how much I simply love this book, but I don’t want to bore you all. When it has been recommended by well-known people on both sides of the political divide, you know it is worth the read. Pick up this book today and start your journey to helping the world become a less hateful place.